Food is man's best friend. Actually man's best friend is his tummy. And his tummy's best friend is food. What happens when you seperate the two? What happens when one best friend can't digest the other with hydrochloric acid? Simple. You work more efficiently.
A couple of weeks back some thin guy at work had some issues with food being brought to our cubicles. Fair enough. He wants us to work. Which some of us don't. Ok. Which most of us don't. But when he disclosed the real reason behind this scheming plan, I was flabbergasted. In fact a lot of people were. But they did not know what flabbergasted meant. So they continued working. Actually they continued doing what most people do. Pretending to work.
Now why would I get stupefied. The reasons are plenty:
This man wanted us to carry only cookies into the work arena. No chips or Kurkure. Because he had a chronic problem with rats. He was of the opinion that rats preferred fried stuff to baked stuff. I wouldn't blame the rats if they did. There's lower fat in baked stuff than in fried stuff.
Sometimes I wonder why God invented rats. Did He do it because he wanted them to lose weight?
No. I have the answer. He wanted us to lose weight. Not only that. A lot more things. Well.... Confused? It works this way.
- With only baked foodstuff, the rats remain healthier and so do we.
- With baked foodstuff, there are lesser number of packets of Lays at work and more number of cookies wrappers which would mean that you will have lesser oil on your hands which would further mean that you wouldn't have to use the company loo that often to wash your hands thereby saving water and a substantial portion of the company's expenditure.
- The crunching and the munching of Potato Wafers contribute more to the sound pollution inside the work arena. The crunching and the munching of cookies are lower than that of potato wafers by a factor of twenty decibels.
- There would be lesser variety for the rats and hence they would be tempted to eat network chords and concrete to spice up their cuisine meaning the chords might have to be changed. This would further imply that some people at work will actually have to work. Damn!
I call this process God's Ecology or Theo-ecology. Man! That guy upstairs has everything worked out!
Labels: Theo-Ecology
posted by abhishek @ 9:45 AM
2 Comments:
As I sit in my cubicle, munching on this pack of cookies I suddenly thought of giving my comments on this article..an apt timing,I would say..won't you? Our man here correctly justifies the superiority of cookies in a work place! This article had enlightened me in one sense.. Uptill now I had this prehistoric notion that,the way to any man's heart is through his stomach...bt now I know that the same works out for rats too!! Curious to learn more on Rats,humans and work..?? I suggest u read Theo-Ecology! Feel that isn't enough then wait for the next article..
Nikki... nikki... Do u know that we are functionally similar to rats in more ways than u know?
Well I dint know that... I think excpet for the tail and the size we are all rats.
They should ban the expression ' I smell a rat'. I think its prejudiced.
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